Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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