just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
