wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
