You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
