I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
