Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
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