i think i have two assholes
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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