I just found puke in my bra..
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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