I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
