it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I need to sanitize my soul.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
