I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
