yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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