You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Come share oat with me in your robe
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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