gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Why did my mother make you get naked?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
