so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
