So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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