I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We just shotgunned beers for America
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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