no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
