I'm jealous of your bromance
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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