Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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