Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
