it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
why does every cop we meet know your name?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
