Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
