I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
