fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
