I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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