she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
