I'm lost and stupid without you.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Randomize
