it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
