She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
