I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
