I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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