Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
he shaved USA in his pubs
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
