I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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