Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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