apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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