Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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