I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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