i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
