Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
