I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I could fuck to npr.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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