For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
