We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
