Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
