i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
