Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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