Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I just want nice things and good sex
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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