Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Is Oprah even human
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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