I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Dick very happy bro
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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