ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
