If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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